Today I get a long distance call from Beanpole Starkman, don’tcha know, all the way from Miami Beach Florida. He’s there visiting his old uncle Muler who hasn’t seen his teeth in 30 years.
Well, Muler and Beanpole get this bet goin’ and Beanpole wants me to declare him the winner. You see, Muler and some other folks down there believe us Canadians are droppin’ like flies cause our healthy care system ain’t workin’. In fact, they’re calling it a dis-ass-ter. Do you believe that? A DIS-ASS-TER!
Well, this ol’ gal shouts into that ear piece: Muler Starkman, THAT JUST AIN’T TRUE!!
Guess I must of yelled perdy loud cause Muler falls back into a bowl of dip and all four table legs buckle and wham! …down he goes like the front end of the Tight-Annik.
Next thing I know, Beanpole’s a-callin’ an ambulance and arguing something about Muler’s previous condition. And I’m thinking…if yer older than ten, yer gonna have some kind of previous condition, ‘less you been shut in bed since birth, don’tcha know.
Hmm, our dis-ass-truss healthy care system, posh. Why just last week, Lake WhaddyathinkImean’s very own, Klein Megner, got two brand new knee caps, and Gracie Shmolen got THREE (one for her sister, Rose). And how ’bout Manny and Evner Flutterman? Why they got two new hips and a colon-os-crappy to boot!
I mean some of our south-o-the-border neighbors need to know the facts.
We do NOT wear snowshoes in the SUMMERTIME! Our police officers do NOT ride around in Santa-red-mountie outfits and park their horses at Tim Horton’s. And we DO get some perdy good healthy care here in Canada.
And you know what? I feel good just for sayin’ so!
Nightie night. Maybelle
Comedy: Maybelle's Fireside Stories 